Fear is wild!
What you do not know and what you should know about fear
Fear is wildfire and it takes a while if not a lifetime of constant tries and effort to quench it.
Fear is a very deep emotion rooted in our subconscious and it springs from a place of survival.
When your mind projects how to escape pain or a situation interpreted as pain in your mind ahead of it happening, fear is birthed.
I remember when I was younger, for some reason, my mom didn’t like dogs, even though she never explained why but I want to assume it’s either PTSD or just as usual basic rumors she must have heard about dogs and how dangerous they are.
Fast forward to a few years later, we finally got a dog and the first day it was brought home, she watched from a distance, she even refused to get close to it talking more about feeding it out of fear of getting her fingers bitten.
Years later, our dog died, and my mom got emotional for days. When she tried demonstrating her reaction to seeing its corpse, I was shocked because this was a woman who was never interested in dogs, to begin with.
Fear is wild and it spreads no matter what but the extent to which fear cripples you is dependent on the situation involved.
Fear is an energy; it can be transferred from person to person.
For instance, when I was younger, my parents didn’t let us keep or have friends out of fear of getting corrupted or misled. I grew up building energy around that which automatically made me distant from people because I lacked social skills.
You know what, enough oos stories about me, let’s dive a little deeper so you’ll understand what I am trying to paint out here.
Why do people lie or better said, why do you lie? Take a quick guess……well I’d tell you!
You lie out of fear — fear of what the outcome of the truth might be especially if previous encounters with the truth weren’t palatable.
The reason why you lie in your CV is that you’ve stayed jobless for too long, and the truth didn’t get you a job or you fear disqualification if not rejection due to a low level of experience.
The reason why you lied to your partner about your whereabouts is because the last time you told the truth, it cost you your peace of mind for days.
The reason you lied to your boss that you were caught up in traffic which was why you got to work late is because you fear being taken as unserious with your job, even if truth be told you didn’t leave the house early.
Fear is why you procrastinate — you are either scared of not being good enough or scared of not meeting expectations.
More often than not, it has been seen, experienced, and even confirmed that all the negative emotions felt by humans can be traced to fear.
Fear is a killer, fear hinders, fear spoils relationships, fear destroys, fear takes its prey and grows its prey to become the worst version of itself. Fear is even broader and far deeper than it has been explained in this article but to avoid boring you I’ll round up with these scenarios.
The first time you rode a bicycle, you were scared to fall, the first time you drove a car, you were scared to die, the first time you went hiking, you were scared to break a knee. The first time for everything comes with its fear but this is where it gets all interesting — the second time you ride a bicycle, you become a little more confident than the previous trial, The same goes for driving and every other previous example mentioned but not for the lie on your CV or the lie about your whereabouts because the situations involved do not have similar repercussion or solution.
Before you allow fear to create an identity for you, you might want to ask yourself- Is this the image I want to portray? It’s okay to be scared to drive but it is not okay to lie out of fear because both situations may be traced down to the same root, but they very well have different impacts on both you and the person you lied to.
Before you lie especially for situations that have tendencies to escalate or spread like fire you should ask yourself this question — how would it feel when I get caught? Guess what, you’ll lose accountability, and respect, and worst off, you’ll lose trust.
How to overcome fear
Since fear has been established to come from the same source but channeled through different routes, it is best to consider the situation involved and apply the best solution which is why I have provided these 4 solutions below.
- For fear of being caught or misunderstood — tell the truth regardless.
- For fear of learning or trying anything new — think of the joy of being a pro.
- For the fear of uncertainty — don’t procrastinate, get to work, just take action.
- For the fear of losing a child to a bad company — give benefits of doubts while keeping a close watch
If you ever have to think of the negative before the positive, then work on your mindset because you my friend might just be under the spell of fear.
Cheers to growth!
